This too shall pass-over
Today is the last day of passover; I spent this week learning about yet another holiday in my boyfriend’s faith. For the first two seder dinners, we were at his parents’ house. Dinner was delicious both days, with an assortment of kosher meats, matzo ball soup, kugel, and other traditional fare. On the first night, though, the actual seder – the reading of the Haggadah – left me seriously wanting more. Considering I will need to convert to Judaism to be with their son, I expected a certain degree of reverence during such a serious holiday. Instead, it felt as if we rushed through reading the Haggadah. Also, I had some questions about some of the customs that nobody could answer, and the mother got up to do dishes in the midst of the final reading. This doesn’t offend me, but certainly surprised me. Thankfully, for the second seder, it was a little more formal (the entire family was there for the second night; my boyfriend’s sister had been with her husband’s family for the first night) and I was able to understand more of what was going on. Also, they got me a kosher for passover birthday cake, which was so sweet of them, and unexpected!
The reason I want so much to experience a real seder (or any holiday for that matter) is that I am craving a more faithful life, and I want to know that I will be met with cooperation and understanding from my boyfriend’s family. I don’t want to half-practice any religion, and I hope that my boyfriend is on board with this!
Anyway, this past week, I attempted to keep kosher for passover with my boyfriend, which meant lots of matzo, dried fruit, and kosher for passover snacks. Due in large part to the fact that we both have finals coming up, there wasn’t much meal preparation, leaving us snacking our way through most meals and leaving me eating way more than I would have liked. (I did have one meal, however, that was delicious – matzo brei, with whole wheat matzo (soaked in water until mushy), 1 egg and 2 egg whites, cinnamon, skim milk and splenda… it tastes like french toast!)
I’m at a point now where I have learned enough about myself and what triggers me to eat. I know that structure keeps me focused, and as soon as that is disrupted, I have a hard time staying on track for the rest of the day. What I don’t know is how to combat the days – or, week, in this case – where disruptions are inevitable. I guess it’s a work in progress.
Goal for tomorrow: get rid of the crappy food lingering in my house, get a salad in somewhere, and take five to say “am I hungry?” before i eat something. Let’s see how it goes!